Whether your Tennessee adoption was hard won or a matter of necessity, divorcing your spouse after adoption can create feelings of guilt and failure. The often lengthy process of adoption requires interviews and investigations that have created a sense of worthiness to be parents of a child. Before you file, these few steps can help you lessen the emotional toll on your family.
The Creating a Family organization provides information for adoptive parents including those divorcing. Help your adoptive child by supporting their emotional needs which may mean putting yours on the backseat for a little while. They define this as “no dating, no introducing significant others to your child, and no complete revamp of your life.” This can make it easier on the child while they process their emotions.
Just like you would a biological child, stress to them that the divorce was not their fault. Because an adoptive child may already have abandonment issues or feelings of being unwanted, this is essential to their emotional well-being during this difficult time. Focus on reassuring your child on how much you want them.
Consider mediation or counseling if co-parenting is difficult. As part of this effort to co-parent, avoid negative talk about your ex-spouse especially in front or in earshot of your child. Staying positive about the relationship between you and your ex-spouse can make co-parenting easier on the family. Use co-parenting to create similar schedules to help ease your child’s transitions from house to house.
These tips can help your adoptive child during the divorce and after. This is general information only and is not intended to provide legal advice.